Where All The Things Meet

Bittersweet Symphony–The Verve

Seemed like it’d never happen! Then it did. Finally graduated from the Penn State College of Nursing alongside my fellow nurslings.

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Reading all the Facebook graduation statuses I felt a little obligated to mark the occasion with my own social media shoutout but didn’t really know how to say anything other than “Status: Graduated” or “Official P-RN” (Pre-Registered Nutcase).

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Holy cow am I the mini-female version of my dad or what?! Same smile. NoteToSelf: Never graduate again because those outfits are not your strong point honey. Some hats can’t handle the size of my head. Or the whiteness of my face. And if I ever betray my curly hair again please cut it off in my sleep ok? ok.

 

This is how I felt wearing my graduation attire:

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So there ya go, that’s my status. But wait! Is that all I have to say after 4 years of glorified chaos? oH no, come on you know me better than that. So stop here if you wanted that reader’s digest version of a simple life update.

If not, well, come sit down buttercup!

So the past week began with me taking (severely under-studied-for) Final finals, to moving out of the sweet Dirty Hersh, and ended last night walking across the stage beelining it to one of my very favorite clinical instructors for that magical hug I’d been hoping for since her medsurg clinical junior year! So needless to say it’s been a wild few days and right now I’m not sure how it all pulled through. Feeling like that about the entire nursing school experience right now–I have no idea how it happened and I actually rolled out alive on the other end. It’s like crawling out of your basement fire cellar and laying on the ground realizing you forgot what the sun felt like.

Right now I’m watching the last 30 minutes of LOTR Return of the King in the other corner of my screen.  We’re at the part where Frodo and Sam are stranded on an island in the middle of lava pouring from Mount Doom and Frodo is saying his famous “it’s gone, it’s done” and from that point on I’m emotional toast.  During the graduation ceremony I was sitting between two pals and that scene fell through my mind, it was so nice to be with them at that moment!   It was one of those snapshots where I might get confused and forget I was actually 22 in the present moment, not 82 remembering the day I graduated nursing school.  Another weird thing I tend to do in these situations is look at the scene and people interacting around me and wonder how we will all be in 10 years, also even weirder and slightly morbid–I wonder a lot how we’ll die.   Yes, you may tip-toe away now.  It’s odd and I don’t think about it in a sad way, just more matter-of-fact way.  Have you seen the movie ‘Big Fish’?  Remember that part when the dad as a young boy goes with his friends to the witches house and they all look into her eye and see how they die?  OK moving on, we are not dead! We are very much alive right now and people are just moving through their stories.  Sitting down to write now I’m feeling a little like when Frodo is finishing Bilbo’s book at the end, sitting there saying “how do you pick up the threads of an old life, how do you go on when in your heart you begin to understand, there is no going back?”  (oh gosh Domico, DRAMA QUEEN much? but really. let me have this.)

It’s barely been a couple of days since leaving the Village but I must admit I’m developing separation anxiety from the nurslings.  Nothing requiring treatment yet but just feeling that little hole in my heart fill up like a dentist fills a cavity.  For something I was such a total brat about for the longest time, some of the most wonderful moments did occur in the midst of the Dirty Hersh, and it goes to show that I really don’t know what was best till it’s reviled to me after-the-fact.  Recently, I stumbled on this Lewis quote:

“We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”–C.S. Lewis

Perfect.  This sentence encapsulates exactly what I can safely say I know about myself now.  Myself a few years ago might have been more doubtful that God would do good for me, or that I could trust Him to not hand me a ‘Plan B’ life because I screwed up too much for ‘Plan A’ to work out.  Right now though, I can no longer say honestly I fear God’s purpose to do good within my life-I know whatever He does will be good regardless of what I feel or think–I fear the pain of real life.  It is tempting to live for enjoyment and pleasure. Many times it seems more promising to take what we want through the means which we see immediately available rather than allowing the rest of the story to unfold because we fear that if we don’t take the opportunity we will miss out on what was best for us, what would bring us the blessing we want.  I don’t want to give you some cheesy post-grad-life-wisdom-lecture, as if walking around for a day in a funky flat blue hat and matching gospel choir robe makes me any less a fool than I was 4 years ago.

Right now I’m just going to share some reflections and encourage you to think about your life, whatever it’s been for the past few years–what the heck, go ahead and do a full on life review, it won’t kill ya.

Meanwhile: I never not enjoy watching the music video to #SELFIE.  There’s a basic bitch inside us all.  

When I think about most of my college-aged life I recall my trend being very much like a mixture of a Jacob story and a Leah story.  Funny, these Biblical people were actually married to each other, however I’ve found a lot of fasciation and relateability to their individual stories and how God worked through each of their broken lives.  Yes, we’re about to get Sunday Schooled.  It’s been a while so you can deal, ok? Ok.  In a nutshell the Leah story is about a girl whom finds herself as an undesired obstacle between her husband, Jacob, who was tricked into marrying her.  Basically he ran into her crazy beautiful sister, Rachel, in some field and he was all smitten and pledged to work for 7 years if he could marry her.  So he does and is all pumped about finally getting the trophy wife he thought would bring him every happiness in the world and on the wedding night her dad slips in Leah instead of Trophy-Wife-Rachel!  OUCH.  So…talk about the awkward morning after?  So he’s tricked into marrying Leah instead of Rachel and he’s ticked (duh) and so he works another bunch of years so the dad will let him marry Rachel too.  Well, now he’s got HotStuff Rachel and the MistakeWife Leah, yes he’s way into Rachel more.  Here’s the thing, Rachel can’t have kids but Leah can.  So Leah is pumping out babies and miserable because her husband doesn’t even like her and never wanted her.  Yeah, don’t blame her for being a little disheartened here.  But get this, here are the translations of the names of her children in birth order from first to last:

1.  Reuben–>means “See, a son” and Leah’s response was: ” Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.”

2.  Simeon–> means “heard/sign”, Leah’s response: “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also”

3.  Levi–> means “attached”, Leah’s response: “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons”

4.  Judah–> means “praise”, Leah’s response: “This time I will praise the Lord”

Umm can we side-step for a second and reflect on how if you and your sibling were married to the same person it might be a little..uncomfortable? Whatever.  I’ll leave it at the times.  They were into that sort of deal back then I guess.  Do me a favor and save me the typing, but read this: Genesis 29:1-35 even if the Bible isn’t your jam, I’m asking you to read this just to get the context of the story I’m referring to.

Read that again.  Pay attention to that birth order.  I’d love for some more info on Leah’s life during those childbearing years and what she was thinking and how God was working in her everyday life.  The Bible doesn’t give us her personal diary account but leaves it at her children’s names, which provides us with unique insight into what those years may have been like as far as her relationship with her God.

There was a conversation I had with a close friend a few months ago in which I was attempting to describe some things I’d noticed about my own life each year of college (and I’m only using college as a time-reference, I’m not trying to imply that it was the defining aspect of my life, as my life would’ve probably happened anyways for the past four years with or without participating in college).  Going into nursing school I’d had many expectations and plans to acquire the blessings I wanted, especially if I lived as that good little Christian girl should.  “See? I did what you wanted right?  Now I should have ____.”  Reuben.  Sophomore year was similar in many ways to freshman year, basically a continuation of “I know God see’s and hears me..I’m still trying to make this work…am I not following “instructions” right?  The roots of ache for blessing were so deep inside of me, and the more they were uncovered and exposed to light, the more frustrated I became.  Simeon.  Junior year. Oh boy.  Well that was something I’d never order on the menu again.  And by saying that I really fear God will hand me another similar time potentially worse, but with the same holy outcome.  Crap, I know I’m supposed to look forward to the future with all that Christian joy and pizzazz but guys.  I do not. Sure, sometimes I do get a little rush out of thinking of the future and not knowing what will happen but equally as many times I am filled with the desire to not know because I don’t’ want to know the pain it will bring as well.  OK back to the point–Junior year was one of the scariest times of my personal emotional/mental life (so far).  Sure, school was so so hard but it was just the tip of the iceberg.  School wasn’t’ my problem, it just aggravated the real problem–myself.  Ever heard the saying: “We stopped checking for monsters under the bed when we realized they were inside of us?”  During this time I became so frantically unstable that I was desperate to attach myself to people and things I believed would satisfy my blessing ache even if it was just partially.  I didn’t care about what God wanted me to do, I decided God had seen me struggle and stumble enough times and I’d be better off just numbing myself to him and living in apathy and bitterness.  I knew I was fallen and ruined in some way, and at that point I just took what I could see.  I wanted something, even if it wasn’t’ the whole thing, I just wanted whatever I could get.  What do you think happens when you attach yourself and your contentment to something you can lose?  You drown with it.  Levi.  Senior year was a surprise Judah.  I never foresaw any praise after the Levi Year.  I walked into Judah unaware that the raw, open lacerations leftover from Levi were the portal in which joy would leak into my veins and permeate  my body.  Perhaps my eyes were just opened enough to see more tiny moments of beauty and blessing because I had to be desperate enough to ask?  I have experienced tears of joy this year just in moments where God allows me to see a mini-movie of these years in my mind and given me insight into where he was within the story.  Do you know the ‘Footprints in the Sand’ poem?

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, many scenes of my life flashed across the sky.  In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.  Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.  This bothered me because I noticed the low periods of my life, when I was suffering anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could only see one set of footprints.  So I said to the Lord, “you promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always.  But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints int he sand.  Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”  The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”–Mary Stevenson

While I was cleaning out my room in Hershey last week, I found this poem on a poster on my closet.  I’ve had the poster since freshman year, though not purposefully.  It just never made it in the trash like all my other posters.  Funny it was this one survived every poster-purge!  Realizing that the times of one set of footprints (Levi) was a time of blessing because I wasn’t doing the walking was so beautiful and simple that I couldn’t not feel reverent praise at such grace given within my own foolish being.  This past year I’ve felt significantly stronger as a person (not that that’s the adjective people associate with me when they experience the havoc of Rebecca during their day, but this is more about personal experience ok?) and more able to care a lot less about people and things in insecure attachment ways.  In fact, in comparison to myself a few years ago, I feel more open to the ride rather than the knowledge of exactly where we are stopping and going.  Just letting things play out offers some surprise joy without as much fear as begging for a particular future then not having it.  Sure, I’ll bet there will be tons of other hills n’ valleys in each of our lives so really I’m just digging deep into one tiny timeframe of experience here, nothing crazy.

Can I Biblical History-nerd-out on ya one more time here?  So, Jesus is actually a descendant of Leah’s bloodline. Regardless of your opinion of his divinity/whether or not he was who he says he was, stay with me here a moment and think if he is in fact who he claimed to be, the son of God and savior of mankind, the picture God painted through Leah’s life was indeed redemptive and stunningly beautiful.  The saving grace of mankind came through a line of an unwanted, broken woman.  Not from the worldly-favored line of Rachel (no offense against Rachel, she plays an important role in the story too but I’m just not going through it here).

So I mentioned Jacob’s story earlier right?  How do we relate to this guy?  Who is this guy who thinks he can just marry away and treat one wife like crap and love the other one more?  That’s a side note, not really the point here.  But what we know about Jacob and what the Bible tells us about his life is that his life is a series of pursuits.  Pursuits of blessing, from his father, mother, brother, and his women.  He chases after sustaining blessing through these relationships which all fall through and do not satisfy him in the end.  Later in his life (he’s married to Rachel and Leah with a bunch of kids and servants) when his brother is looking to kill him (!), he meets God.  Read:

That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.  When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.  Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

–Genesis 32:22-30

Last year I heard my campus ministry pastor speak on this story and many points of this sermon pointed out the trends of blessing pursuit in Jacob’s life. (You can listen to the same sermon here! It’s titled “Meeting God”)  One of the things he said, “god is attracted to fools” was a novelty to me in my thinking of who God is and how he works.  The people God chose to pursue within these accounts were oftentimes outwardly insignificant people of their time by their society’s standards, and even rejected by their society.  This should say something about the character of God, this God chooses the lost and messed-up to build his kingdom and create his eternal story.

Jacob spends his life going after blessings (he goes to his father, mother, brother, wife for blessings and in all of these relationships the blessing fell out and he could not create the blessing and satisfaction he wanted from any of his pursuits).  So he goes through his merry way of looking for this fullness in everything else until he is isolated and alone, his family across the river and his brother waiting to kill him in the morning.  He meets some stranger and wrestles with him, oh and the stranger happens to be God.  Just another average day in Bible Times right?  Someone’s going about their business and then BOOM God shows up and tells them to do something kinda weird!  It’s like he’s the main character or something.  The big deal here?  Jacob finally realizes what he was missing in all of his other pursuits, similar to Leah, they both chased blessing so hard from their own means till they came to a point where they demanded blessing from God himself.  And God gives it!  We do this–we are looking for someone/something to BLESS us, to choose us, to tell us we are OK.  Even if you do not think you need this, do you have parents you care about?  A girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse?  An endeavor?  Music?  Academics?  Hobbies?  Why do you even bother to maintain relationships or academic goals if you don’t’ see some justification and self-benefit from them?  You don’t practice any of theses things or relationships without motivation.  You expect something to benefit you through these, and that isn’t inherently a bad thing.  These things are so attractive to us because they mimic shards of authentic soul-satisfying blessing.  Taking another point from that sermon, think of this, when a person meets God it is a personal experience.  It comes through authentic blessing that our soul’s recognize as the true love we’ve been designed for, and it occurs through “wrestling” with God himself.

“God cannot give us happiness and peace apart form himself because it is not there.  There is no such thing.”–C.S. Lewis

So there you go, another dramatic novel by Your’s Truly!  Thanks for sticking around, and let me say that when I refer to different times in my own life as more difficult than others I do understand that this goes for everyone and my experience is only unique because it is my own but that doesn’t make it any better/worse than yours and I want to respect that.  I also don’t think that my life is all that notable and when I dramatize it in writing it’s simply taking a magnifying glass on a simple person in a simple life apart of a very grand story, much bigger than herself and that for me is thrilling.  I share these kinds of things with you in hopes you will find personal use and inspiration to think of similar moments of your life and how you interpret their meaning.  I do talk of God, well, because that is who I believe is driving the car, BUT I don’t expect you to have that exact same outlook on life.  That’s fine peaches! You still have a brain and a soul that I’d bet craves the exact same thing my soul does regardless of what we believe we came from the same deal.  I hope you have the most rich life of your soul and I want true and real things for you very much, I hope you do to.

Woah, well that felt good.  Not sure about you but it’s been a while and I love talking with you like this.  I hope you have a good night and sweet mercifully-dreamless sleep.  The next latte I make at the best job ever will be dedicated to you, and I wish I could give you all the lilacs I stuffed my face in on my walk to work today.

‘The Promise’–When In Rome

‘Forever Young’-Youth Group Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

*Thank you pintrest, tumblr, and Facebook for all images here.

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This Game

I can’t not share a playlist today.  Impending exams always bring out the best little odd behaviors…wearing neon orange yoga pants with purple lipstick and teasing my hair to the high heavens…. re-doing my nails 4 times then remembering I can’t have polish for clinical and stripping it off again.  My nails LOVE me. #Not.  Another thing I very much enjoy doing when I’m “studying” is spotify swim.

So without further talk I present the Community Exam I Study Soundtrack

(Druun)–Diiv

Shaped Like a Gun–Verbena

Arms Like Boulders–The War On Drugs This might be in the top 3 songs I’m loving right now.  “You’re the kind to hide your eyes from the sun”

Take Me To Church–Hozier

Hopelessly Stoned–Hugo  This song is the essence of past-2:00am studying.  You feel wonky. 

Sweet Disposition (RAC Mix)–The Temper Trap, RAC

Ce Jeu–Yelle *cue the orange pants and purple lips! Why don’t I have her orange stripe-y bodysuit? and her fringy leg warmers…oh yes pleeze. I hate orange but sometimes I like being close to it. #KeepYourEnemiesClose

Harsh Realm–Windowspeak

Me & God–Trent Dabbs

Counting Sleep–Trent Dabbs

Anyways, hope you’re doing well! For your visual pleasure, and to show off my newly-aquired meme-making skills, AND to re-tell the beautiful tale of A Perfect Nurse-y Valentines Day we had here in the Hersh last Friday…

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My friends put up with a lot.  Golden People.
My friends put up with a lot. Golden People.

Class Clown

Tennis Court–Lorde

Little Numbers–BOY

Royals–Lorde

Back in the tropics of Pennsylvania,

The Dearest Dirtiest Hersh ❤

It’s notable that I can even type a “<3”! Must be growing a gnarly, yet endearing, root in my cold heart.  So yes, the nurslings are back in their habitat!

one…more…semester…you…can…do…it…!

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And after the realization that yet another semester is upon us, full of undone work, it helps to just take a deep sigh and dance it out in your kitchen.  yeah you! pull out the remains of that salsa+samba you learned in freshman ballroom101 and mix it up with a little of your own overly enthusiastic dance moves…wah la! You’ve got yourself a pretty solid 1 Man Show for any roommates happening to walk in.

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This post is full of super instagram-ish selfies as you probably already figured out, sorry guys it’s totally overkill but let me have this one if only for the most wonderful clothing piece I’ve recently come to cherish.  Thank you internet thrifting.

I made fun of my sister all through Christmas break for getting a pair of Sperry shoes (there penny loafers for rich sailors! Or at least that’s what the ads indicate) and she got her revenge when I walked into the kitchen sporting this number.  She quickly noticed a lone denim handle-sized strap on my rear end and did what any sister with some fashion revenge would do…pulled it!  If you ever happen to experience being led around like a dog with a collar on its butt I can totally sympathize with you now.

New Slang–Pickin’ On Series

The moral of this tale is: If you like to pretend you own a boat you can do that! If you want to pretend you paint barns for a living—-gosh darn it! you can do that too doll face!

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Ugh ok I’m done! Thanks 🙂 They are just too fun.

In more important news: This one’s finally seen Frozen.  How did I not believe the sister when she said it was the best thing since the last best thing?! Ugh, for shame Rebecca.  For shame.

I was expecting it to basically be ‘Tangled On Ice’ so without giving it all away I’m just going to say go see it.  Then you’ll understand.  And you’ll Let It Go

…over and over and over

…in the shower…on the way to the library…in the gym….you’ll just Let It Go all over the place.

Jumping back over to the Tropics now.

Just this afternoon I was rolling pill-bug style on my bedroom floor on the sun lines from my window blinds thinking about all the sounds and voices going on.  The nursing village has a “hum” about it that’s become a strange comfort blanket.  The sounds of hairdryers, the bottom apartment’s vent fan, the constant window shaking buzz of the helicopter are all a bit dear to me now. *sigh* maybe it’s because this is the last semester pre-nostalgia but over the last week alone I feel like I’m looking at an old picture when I look at a group of nurslings.  Foreseeing a ‘Marius Moment’ on the horizon

OK, nothing more now, just a quick “hello” Love, Rebecca

How To: Relax!

One of my very favorite things about nursing senior year so far is our mental health nursing class.  I took psych100 (like every other undergrad ever) freshman year and enjoyed it, however mental health nursing is geared more towards real-life applications of what psychologists/mental health experts have figured out I suppose.  The lectures are basically giant therapy sessions themselves.  Really interesting, but simultaneously disgruntling because as we nurslings sit there soaking up our teacher’s wisdom and calmness, we’re realizing that 95% of the symptoms for she’s listing we have experienced as a result of nursing school..

SO why am I telling you this?  HOW will this help YOU?  OK that’s fair.  I am telling you this because some of you may be taking some very stressful tests in the next few weeks, commonly known as “finals”.  You may be quite stressed out by now and possibly quarantined in one of these:

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Or reaching the point of delusional behaviors?..

0a698aea2dc2ae7ffdf7be94653b713dIf that’s the case I’m surprised you resurfaced to read this, but wait!–Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered you’re here, I just think you should use your break moments to nap…or cry?) ANYWAYS: here are some things you can do that just might not induce crying/hallucinatory stress-induced behavior)

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Our teacher has given us several techniques she uses in her practice and that we can use in clinicals, and I’m going to share some with you.

Anxious?

Activity:

Ask: “When you go to sleep tonight, a miracle is going to occur.  All the problems that brought you to _______(this place)_____ will be gone.  What will your life be like?  Where will you be?  Who will you be with?  I want you to write me a letter from you in that time describing to me what your life is like. (sounds a little pointless but give it a shot, what’s it going to do? eat you?)

To Go to Sleep/Relax:

–>Lay in bed (or wherever you are) and say 5 things you can see, 5 things you can hear, 5 things you can feel. Do it again with 4 things, then 3, 2, and 1.  Repeat (back to 5 and down) until fully relaxed.

–>Close your eyes, breath and do a “full body scan”.  Start at the bottom and relax/feel every single part.  Start at your toes, feel your toes, calves, knees, the pressure of your chair… etc… all the way to the top of your head.  Note areas that are tense.  Tense those areas even more, more, then completely let them go. Repeat once or twice.

–>Find a picture of a place you feel safe.  Keep that picture somewhere close by and when you feel overwhelmed, take 15 seconds to hold/look at that picture, and imagine being exactly in that place.  What exactly does that place feel like? (go through details! down to the temperature, and how your face feels).

–>Try these.  Normally I’d giggle at the whole meditation thing and probably not endorse it BUT here are some awesome 3-20 guided meditation and breathing exercises. *Link*

Want to know something?  I’ve been trying these out for myself, and kid you not, they are gems.  Some of them might seem cliche or obvious (well yes Rebecca, I know the whole “close your eyes and breath” deal) but if you really give it a shot it can’t hurt.  Personally I really liked writing a letter from my future self, accepting that I certainly don’t need my life to go in that particular way but the act of allowing myself the freedom to imagine and “design” a life I want now was therapeutic itself.

If none of these work, try this video*

And of course a playlist of some of my personal favorite relaxation tunes!

“RELAX. Just Do It.” (– Mugantu)

Small Memory–Jon Hopkins

Daydream–Tycho

Dreams Today–Efterklang

Nitesky feat. John LaMonica–Robot Koch, John Lamonica

Lost Cause–Beck

Avril 14th–Aphex Twin

A Man And His Dream–Neva Dinova

World I Need You, Won’t Be Without You–How To Dress Well

Oh, Why–Balam Acab

Wash.–Bon Iver

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The Essence

These Days–Dr. Dog

Lovin’ Arms–Wood Brothers

Wayside Back in Time–Gillian Welch

Yes, this day.  No shower could entirely cleanse my body after a Monday morning gastric-juice facial.  Bleach maybe. But nothing will really disinfect the mental scarring.  If you are not beyond grossed out now I’d say you should hop on this bandwagon and get your inner nurse on.

If I were to create a perfume of today it would be called:

Essence of Monday’ By Nursling

“Gastric contents laced with the whisper of painkillers and wounded pride”

Not clear as day?  OK here’s the tale. This morning I woke up at 5:00am after a night of disorientation sweaty wake-sleep cycles. *insert appropriate visual link* After adequately caffeinating  myself, verbally self-soothing my frayed pre-clinical nerves I boldly walked out the door to the darkness of Hersh, joined my partners-in-crime and scampered off to the hospital.  Made it to the floor.  Got patient assignment.  Introduced self with false confidence to nurse. Crossed my fingers and dove in.   “Ok, cool you can do X, Y, and Z…chill out Domico.  Yeah now we’re feeling somewhat capable.”

So the morning started off and I felt like my little lifeboat wasn’t taking in any water!  Until..the captain (Yours Truly) drove herself straight into an fully visible iceberg.  There is thing thing called the G-Tube. It is a direct connection between the outside world and a human stomach.  The stomach is where a lot of things end up.  Things that are better left unseen and unworn.  Among things that go into ones stomach are medications, and if a person is not doing the whole oral-route deal then G-Tube train it is!  This nursing student thought she was pretty comfortable with these Tummy Trains but to her horror she learned a tough lesson this day.  In the process of administering various meds via this train, I was pushing air out of a syringe before flushing the tube. The contents of this syringe, which I was holding with the tip upwards, was a bodily and medicinal cocktail.  Guess what happens when you evacuate more than the air bubbles?! And now I hope you can see the rest of this scene vividly without me re-living the rest.

Face. In The Face. In MY face.

Oh, and right in front of my teacher.

I’ve shut the rest out of mind for now, but I will tell you the end story was my face turning stone, finishing the process promptly (still professional here! *giving self a pat on the back for maintaining external calm, because inside was everything that is not calm in the world*) and my wonderful teacher trying to comfort my shocked self as soon as we left the room.  And in the end, all was well and my lab culture analysis has never been more thoureaugh.  Now I feel as though I’ve crossed the bridge and should wear the nursing student equivalent of a Purple Heart.  (Over dramatic Domico per usual! It was just an unwelcome facial spray.  Life goes on and  there will be less welcome fluids on this same person many times over in the future)

How was your weekend?

All of my darling roommates ended up staying in our Hershey Nest too so needless to say things were delightfully funky all weekend 😉  Saturday was the perfect rainy fall day PLUS bonus features of good tunes, the woods, deer,  and friends! On top of that my parents were in town for a wedding and were able to hang out with me Sunday–which is extra special because it’s not often that 25% of their children get them both to themselves 🙂

It’s midnight?  Why aren’t we eating stuff?  Lets go do that. 

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Late-night car adventure to the magical land of “Nald’s” (or McDonald’s, but with half the sign lit up)

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Morning-After-Nald’s Coffee Recovery

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Sunday with the visiting Parental Unit 🙂

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I think I got the best one

DIY Auditory Journaling

Every time I’ve started a blog post this past week I’ve bored myself by the third sentence, shut the computer and found some cereal. There’s just a whole lot of nothing to talk about and I think you get my drift.  If life were swimming strokes I’d be doing the freestyle crawl now, not as chill as breast stroke but not pre-concussion backstroke (although I could be in backstroke and not realize some wall is a lot closer than I’d anticipated! Ugh I hope that is not the case) or the desperate flail of “butterfly” (umm I’ve got to ask if the person who named the “butterfly stroke” ever actually saw a butterfly.  If they had I’d think they’d notice that butterflies are seemingly a lot calmer in flight than a human trying to imitate them in the water).

On another note this October is the anniversary of my monthly spotify playlists!  One year ago to this day I started making a monthly playlist reflecting that particular month in songs I’d listened to, discovered, or just that matched the times.  In a way it’s a musical version of journaling!  I’ve never been super enthusiastic about writing down my thoughts because, frankly I’m lazy and don’t feel the burning desire to write to myself.  I do write none-sending letters though, which might be the same thing except I like the freedom of writing to someone without any apprehension about what I’m saying.  Meh, whatever I’ve gone off the rails—BUT I do encourage you to write letters without sending them (unless you really want to)  to anyone, (especially God, actually writing letters to God is one of my favorite ways to talk with Him).  OK now back to the Musical Journaling!  Musical journals by month are really fun and cool because you can go back to a certain month and “hear” how you felt instead of reading your words.  Maybe that song was a better indicator of your emotional weather than you’re words would’ve been.  Try it this lovely October!

Want some samples of my 2012 October?? Ha, probably not, but play along 😉

Missing Pieces–Jack White

Sea Above, Sky Below–Dirty Three

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together–none other than the Taylor Swift…! Come one, let me have it.

Samson–Regina Spektor

Breezeblocks–alt-J

Just wrapped up September 2013 yesterday with ‘Amsterdam’ by Gregory Alan Isakov.  Normally Mr. Isakov’s music appears in high doses from mid-October through early December, with a pick up again in January to late March.

I’ve gone crazy, couldn’t you tell? Threw stones at the stars but the whole sky fell.  —Favorite line of favorite Isakov song.

Wellll, I guess I’ll throw out some visual now too?  We’ll start with some of our favorite pre-nurses at the Color Run.  More accurately know as:  The Dirty Hersh!

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Team (Domico Men) Golden Bears are having a rockin’ season!

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Sisterly Love is in season 😉 as always! Along with a solid chaser of crazy.

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The Dirty Hersh Crew found a new relative in Burnham PA.  Cousin Pedro and his questionably cheap (but good!?) burritos.

Muchos Gracias.

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Too bad we didn’t have any jordan almonds to “snack” on for the car ride home! (please understand this, yes it’s a problem but Bridesmaids is too real life in nursing camp!)  Let’s just say we were all very….gastrointestinally-cautious after waving “adios!” to Cousin Pedro.  Turned out we can visit our dear cousin again 🙂

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Welcome To Camp

Hang Me Up To Dry–Cold War Kids

Oh! Hello there, nice to be here on this little corner of the internet with you again.  Let me debrief you on some recent happenings!  First: This nut moved a wide 2-hours away from the Nest to Hershey, PA for a (hopefully) sweet finale to 4 years of life living in the circus show! (Also referred to as nursing school..I prefer the more descriptive title) Let me fully disclose I’ve been and continue to be a stubborn brat about the whole ordeal just because.   Cripes!  Rebecca!  You stayed in your hometown 3 extra years than necessary because it was easy (there were other incentives, but let’s be real,  I did take the “safe” route) and suddenly you’re throwing a hissy fit over having to move just 2 hours away for 7ish months?!?  Babies take longer to cook than you will be in Hershey.  It’s not like many other 20-something humans did this years ago and had to move somewhere they weren’t familiar with, PLUS many of them went much further than a  2-hour drive! Suck it up buttercup–welcome to the grandparents of Reality TV…real life!  Where we do things we don’t want to do like it’s our job, because often it IS.   And more often these things are privileges and blessings we don’t want because they come in forms we didn’t “order”.  Typical.

OK my rant-to-self is done, thanks for sticking by!

So! About a month ago I was academically abducted from my little space shuttle nest here:

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……And went Nursing Camp!

Guys! We aren’t Kansas anymore…

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The Stages of Denial

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…I’m WHERE?
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If I ignore the problem it will go away.
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I think you are a big liar. Talk to The Foot.
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No really, talk to it. I care not. You’re a major fibber.
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*entering realization phase*
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*grumble growling*

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Nursing Camp, (Hershey, PA) is essentially a small retirement community for 20-somethings in the middle of a corn field.  Hence the accurate description of the “campers” as:  Children of the Corn. 

There’s a hospital too.  A nice one!

Weekly Activities (Class Descriptions):

Med-Surg Round 2: ANNNDD there’s That Look again!

Professional Development (aka ‘Scary Story Night’): How many ways can you loose your license?! Calculators couldn’t handle the truth!

Mental Health: Where you realize you’re more suited to be a patient here than the professional. 

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Nice to be seeing you again! Hope your September is swell.