If you’ve talked to me for more than ten minutes and yoga comes up, you’ve received this look:
Sorry about that. I’m an insensitive nugget who doesn’t go to yoga enough. I used to settle on the whole idea that yoga is an expensive quack-waste of time which would be better spent doing stuff like clipping your toenails upside-down or something equally more productive than twisting yourself into a human pretzel and then falling asleep in said pretzel.
Now however, I’ve seen the golden sunbeam of zen! (or the flashlight of “why not? It won’t kill you. And if it does-you underestimated it and therefore find it a choice way to be overcome!” –Crazy Bird-Woman Thought Process.) Want to know how that happened? *just nod, it’ll be over like a flu shot soon 😉
Several weeks ago one of my darling friends invited me to go to a yoga class with her. And because she’s too irresistibly fun-tastic to be around and I figured my flexibility was really on a downward spiral since entering the ripe old age of 21 I bit the bullet and said “absolutely I do!” I panicked the day of the class (though totally playing it cool on the outside…well as cool as I get which is mildly frazzled.) knowing that the moment my hands couldn’t touch my toes everyone in there would know I was a trash-talking ex-wannabe-gym-rat just looking to zone out on the peace n’ love bus for an hour.
The Instructor: “I want to start by asking you what poses your afraid of” (said to whole class)
Me: “EVERY SINGLE ONE. I just want to take the Inner Peace Nap now.” (this stayed in my head (I hope so at least… it was really hot so maybe I did shout it at some point? would never remember!)
I learned quickly that yoga is very hard and required more patience and self-control than I can hold at one time. The only thing keeping me grounded was the intense effort I was exerting in preventing natural bodily functions from causing a yoga studio tragedy…eh huh..TMI rebecca, T+M+I. (but come on guys, all that rolling around? That’ll do it.)
Strangely enough by the end of this class I was ON MY HEAD. For real upside-down chilling out all zen-like and that jazz!! Who knew?!? I sure didn’t. And in those upside down moments when the instructor was asking us if we really knew which way up or down was (if you haven’t lost your sense of direction and equilibrium I guess you’re doing it wrong!) I realized I do enjoy forgetting where I am, where my nose is, what my name is….etc. ya get the picture 🙂
Or if you want a better description of how I became a recovered Yoga Troll:
And that’s the story of how I stopped being a (yoga)hater.
Because my dear Rachel Lady Girl here is a great example and buddy–AND yoga is actually fun when she is doing it too! 🙂 Plus she is very smart and knows that you don’t need post-workout recovery soy protein glitter shakes when there’s food and free beer (and my personal favorite recovery beverage) down the road!