I See You’re Still Wearing Pantyhose…

Remember my pantyhose-wearing nutrition251 friend?  It’s been so long! Many months have passed since I’ve been the recipient of your distain filled gaze.

What’s new?  I see we are shopping at the same store today! What luck, you must have good taste.  It is clear by your classy black pantyhose, skirt, pea coat, and french beret hat (not to mention your severely glossy fire hair.  Perfectly ironed into submission.  How’d you get so dominant?  My hair laughs when I try to be assertive and use the dryer.  Laughs and has a kinky party on my head. Full of kinks and swirls.) Anyways, that is how I recognized you (before I saw your face and knew it was you).  You’re undeniable pristine cut severity in both dress and expression.  I suppose you fit in well with the rest of the people occupying Urban Outfitters and didn’t really stick out as much as a kinky-haired, gym clothes-wearing, wild-eyed/no makeup nursing student struggling for balance as she forces her size 9 feet into size 8.5 red heels. Which went very well with the sweaty t-shirt and spandex athletic pants.

 “Which of these things is not like the others???…..”

What a weirdo.  Who thinks they can walk into Urban Outfitters not prepared to go down the runway??

So we’re both checking out the shoes, I found these awesome red pumps (On Sale!) That needed to be tried on.  I didn’t see you coming, otherwise I wouldn’t have spread out all my bags and coats on the 3 chairs for shoe-try-ons.  Really, believe me, I’d have politely stuffed all my stuff into one chair and saved you the trouble of abruptly picking up my coat with the fingertips reserved for dealings with the Third Class peoples, and flicking it to another chair.  That is why I half-tripped stumbled over on one red-pump clad foot hastily moving the rest of my things to the designated chair.  Didn’t want you to have to dirty your fingertips anymore or use your words.

Hope your day was magical.

3 thoughts on “I See You’re Still Wearing Pantyhose…

  1. Tammy Domico

    OMG i laughed so hard reading this!!! So so funny……someday this girl is going to need something from you….that only you can give:) No, not a kick in the pants!
    I love you

  2. Pingback: The Pantyhose Saga III | The Blueberry Days

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